Parenting styles have a big impact on how children develop into adults, and they are important implications for the children’s future success
A study by The Center for Parenting Education established that children are influenced by the attitude of their parents – either positively or negatively.
Parenting style is vital because numerous reports signify that it forecast how children perform in the field of psycho-social development, business development, academic performance, social competence, and problem behavior.
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The Effects of Bad Parenting on Children
According to Imperial Valley News, Research has established that there are deep and significant effects of bad parenting. The effects of bad parenting on the children include antisocial behavior, poor resilience, depression, and aggression.
Another study by the United Kingdom’s Department of Education indicates the effects of bad parenting on the children to include behavioral problems, poor coping skills, academic challenges, and mental health outcomes.
Frequent poor parenting decisions can have a harmful outcome through childhood and beyond so understanding and recognizing bad parental decisions can help parents make the best decisions for their child.
We’ll consider poor parenting ethics that would probably destroy a child and will keep the child psychologically imbalance.
1. Not Paying Enough Attention To The Child
The greatest mistake that most parents make regarding their children during their early years was spending too much time at work, while other regrets include: Spending too much time away from them, not playing with them more, among others.
Some parents pay little or no attention to their children which is insane, these so-called parents are so busy building careers and making money, that they totally neglect and ignore their children. They leave the care of their children to helpers and nannies, who in most cases has no idea of how to properly bring up children.
I’ve got no issue with working-class parents, you shouldn’t abandon your career just because you had a child, what I’m against is the imbalance on the part of the parents. Listen kids are not daft, they know you need to work but that little time you have to spend with them, can you just shut down all those distractions and let them know it’s all about them.
Due to neglect in the part of the parents, most of these children grow up without proper guidance and direction and they have to learn about behaviors from their peers and the immediate environment, which in most cases affects the child negatively.
The bad news is that most of these behaviors learned from peers and the immediate environment are more often than not, negative behaviors that go a long way to negatively affect the children later in life. In worse cases, the children are sexually abused and threatened into silence without the knowledge of their parents.
This destroys the moral consciousness of the child and they just might never forget that incidence, them forgiving you is under probability
2. Thinking A Strict Religion Will Give Children Perfect Values
Ignorance has eaten deep into the minds of so many parents. Many people pray to God to do for them what they can do for themselves. Many parents believe that committing their children to God in prayer every day is enough for them to grow up morally.
Again they’re wrong!
The truth is that children need more than just prayers and religious involvement to grow up to become responsible adults.
Too much religious activities only help to get the children to pretend to be good, but as soon as they get the opportunity, especially when they enroll for college, move away from home and become free of their parents, they become wild and wants to make up for all the fun they believed their parents has deprived them of.
This is the reason why I’m against parents telling their children what to and not to because they reverence you, they will probably do everything you ask of them without even knowing why. To you your kids are obedient but deep down they just can’t wait to do what they feel is the best.
Teach them, let them have an experiential knowledge of things because that way they will never depart from it, teach them with love and they will never forsake that path whether you’re there or not. They are not doing it because you told them no to but because they decided themselves no to.
When some parents see a child misbehaving, instead of taking deliberate actions to correct the child, they resort to religious rites to help them straighten their child. Religious activities should be backed up by proper discipline and guidance to make a child become a responsible adult in the future.
3. Refraining Common Information about Vital Topics
There are sensitive topics that we parents should be the first to reveal to our children, parents should be able to build rapport with the children and in that way can be open to asking questions about sex, etc.
A lot of parents have many reasons for not talking to their children about sex. They wrongly believe that talking about such sensitive topics with their children will corrupt them but guess what, sooner or later the cat is going to be let out of the bag. It’s either you teach them about it or someone else will teach them.
Allowing your children to discover this subject on their own does a lot of damage and as a parent, you’ve failed.
These behaviors of withholding information from your child have been proven to be a big mistake on the part of the parent because no matter what they do, the child will eventually get to learn about such sensitive subjects and most times, they get to learn it either from their peers or through personal experience.
A lot of teenage pregnancy could have been prevented if the parents have taught them about sex, how to protect themselves and the negative consequences of engaging in sex before marriage.
4. Forgetting That Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Some parents behave badly both in private and public, but they still expert perfect behavior from their children. A parent who fights, shouts, curses, smokes cigarettes, takes illicit drugs, drinks, or becomes physically aggressive should not expect his child to act like a saint.
Teaching one thing and doing another tells a child that you are insincere. It’s, in addition, makes your kid believe that the things you request them to do are not important. By observing and imitating others, children learn ways of interacting socially. They learn proper and improper kinds of behaviors.
The examples set by parents and older siblings, children are the most powerful influences that shape a child’s behavior and manners. Children learn by copying what others do. If the parents do not treat each other equally or with respect, the child will detect, learn and almost certainly copy this behavior.
If a parent shout, act violently, discriminate or used dirty words around the child or at home, the child will learn and copy this type of behavior also. Likewise, if a parent treats others with respect, patience, and kindness, the child also will follow their example.
If fathers and mothers treat each other with affection and respect, the children will learn, copy and most likely replay it in their relationships as adults.
5. Raising The Child We Want, Not The Child We Have
All parents harbor dreams for their children. They even start before the child’s gender is even known. Secretly, they hope the children will be like them, only smarter and more gifted. They want to be their guide, putting their life experience to excellent use.
Many parents force a career path for their children, thereby making them abandon the career they have a natural flair and passion for.
There are different reasons why parents try to force a career on their children. Many parents strive to have their children to study medicine, law, engineering or any other course they believe will make their child succeed in future, even when it is obvious that the children have no zeal or passion for such profession
Researchers have proved that assertive parents try to make up for their personal failed dreams by making huge efforts to make their children succeed, this is another wrong mindset that most parents have and unknown to them, it’s destroying the child they claim to love.
The job of parents is to discover their inherent predisposition and then prepare them for that path. Forcing dreams upon children isn’t ideal and would only make them frustrated and make them mediocre in such jobs.
Only when parents see children for who they are and help them prepare towards that path can they impact their life effectively.
6. Protecting Children from Failing
No parent is excited to see their child depressive and bleak, that’s the reason a lot of parents do all they can to protect their children from setbacks and failures. Always shielding a child from distress and failure is not a good idea.
If a child is not trained to accept failure, they will toil to handle stress when they become an adult, little disappointment can sometimes benefit your child – as long as you teach him or her how to cope with failure and how to bounce back from it.
A child who has never become skilled at managing setbacks is as well likely to be pathetic and would give up almost immediately a pressure mounts up because they lack guys Every child needs to recognize that failing isn’t such a terrible thing provided they give things their best effort.
Parents normally exhibit these protective behaviors with good intentions, but these attitudes, go a long way to negatively affect the child’s success in life when they find themselves in situations where they need to stand up for themselves.
7. Lack of Trust
When a parent frequently makes a promise to a child, but don’t fulfill that promise, the child might get the notion that the parent can’t be trusted to do what he promised. If you as a parent carelessly create a figure of parental unworthiness in the mind of your child, you’ve destroyed every chance of that child trust you.
If a parent constantly tells a child that she can come to him and talk about anything, but then the parent flies into a rage when the child reveals something the parent doesn’t want to hear, the child almost certainly won’t feel like the parent can be trusted the next time something vital happens.
This lack of trust could imply that the child would rather discuss important issues with friends next time than risk the parent rage and I’ve seen this happen over and over again which is why I’ve been sounding the alarm of fixing the wrongs because parents are destroying their children’s future on a daily basis.
This lack of trust can also hinder the child from trusting anyone in the future. If this sense of mistrust grows up with the child, he or she might have psychological problems of ever trusting anyone in any field of life ever again.
This will affect the child future relationships, both in business, family and social life.
The good news is that you still have the ability to build trust with your child today. Follow these simple steps to build trust with your child, including practicing what you preach, learning to listen, always telling your child the truth, appreciating your child’s honesty, fulfilling your promises, sticking to your threats and being consistent with the rules.